It is so well documented and properly instilled in me that "tigers don't cry". I know my role. It has been hammered in me by those I respect the most. Those who have been kind enough to let me survey their walk have explicitly taught me that I as a man should forever be found in a position of power and authority. As they say, "leaders don't cry".
Why then should I rejoice because of a Right that goes against all that is sound to me? Why should I defy the teachings of my elders; the teachings of the veterans of this game called life?
But I have found out that maybe there could be some perforation in my stern beliefs because as I closely study the lives of the very same men I have built my solid foundations on, I find that maybe my definition of mourning is not as correct as I have assumed. I discovered that the very men I respect have a chapter of this subject in their lives. It is just not so flamboyant as the other chapters that speak of their boldness.
I found out that one of the men that I have followed and whose teachings still order my steps to this very day had a session of mourning. His name is Jesus Christ. When informed about the passing away of His dear friend Lazarus, the Bible points out that Jesus "wept". A man who divided time; a man whose life has scientists baffled to this day mourned, even if it was for a brief moment.
Great statesmen, the likes of Mandela, Cher Guevara, Malcom X and Martin Luther King had sessions with mourning. They might not have mourned the death of a friend, but they mourned what was snatched from them and from generations to come. They mourned for hope lost and for freedom that was in chains. They mourned and wept bitterly. I ask myself then if I should be so cold to this Right?
Mourning, I have found, is not an instruction that suggests that one needs to curl up and begin to feel sorry for oneself. Far it be from that. Mourning suggests that you take time to understand where you are; understand what is happening; shed tears if you must; tear your beard out if you are Ezra or Nehemiah.
Business expression would term it "situation analysis". Mourning is in essence a "reality check"; an opportunity to recoup; to be one with your emotions and surroundings; to pay respect and celebrate the life and contribution of the person/item you have lost. Then after, when all questions have been answered and when all emotions have been calmed and peace reigns, draw up a plan to move forward.
It is only after Jesus had cried that He raised a man from death. It is after Mandela, Che Guevara, Malcom X and Martin Luther King sat down and understood what was lost that they journeyed forward to do what they were born to do. It is only after Nehemiah had wept that he had the plan and energy to rebuild Jerusalem's walls.
These same giants we go to to regain strength; these individuals whose lives puff up our lungs would leap for joy at the mention of this Right. It is therefore not perceptions of weakness that should cloud our minds when we hear of this Right, but it should be the glory that comes after that should give us the courage to embrace this Right. We have THE RIGHT TO MOURN.
I have THE RIGHT TO MOURN.
- Joy Bongani Mathebula
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